Breaking Rukia
by Aleia15
Summary: For the stages of love challenge: five breaks. ByakuyaRukia


**Similar**

She was so different from her, yet so similar.

It felt strange to see that stubborn set of jaw and those determined eyes on a face that was always gentle in his memories.

Only the outside was the same. The same black hair framing her pale face, the same dark eyes staring at him with something akin to adoration, the same long neck and petite frame, so much like a doll.

That was where the similarities ended.

Rukia was lively and cheerful where Hisana had been quiet and composed. Rukia was strong and rebellious where Hisana had been obedient and frail. Rukia relied only on herself where Hisana had been dependent of him. Their characters were almost opposites.

And both of them had loved and respected him.

Byakuya observed silently while Rukia was treated by the 4th Division, healing her injuries from the fight against a hollow. It must hurt, he thought seeing the strange angle her leg had been bent, but she was lying there, refusing to cry out or show how painful it really was in front of him.

So much like Hisana, hiding her pain from him.

Byakuya stood there for another minute before turning around and leaving, wondering if it was the memory of Hisana what made him feel like that seeing Rukia's suffering.

He heard distant moans of pain on his way out of the 4th Division, and he ignored the impulse of going back and watch over Rukia.

Whatever the reason, he was better off without those feelings.

…

**The right thing**

It was so difficult to do the right thing.

Byakuya had been fighting with himself all the time, wondering which vow was more important to keep: the one to Hisana or the one to his parents.

He'd chosen the wrong one for the wrong reasons.

He couldn't even look at her staring at him imploringly in her white execution clothes. There was nothing to remind him of his wife there, but those uncomfortable feelings were still there, asking him to do something, to say something. He'd chosen not to do anything at the time, to let her die and hope she would take those feelings with her.

How could Rukia forgive him so easily?

Yes, he had protected her in the end, putting his own life on the line--the same as Abarai and that ryoka boy. Why then was she just crying for him?

"Nii-sama, nii-sama--" the words were falling from her lips like a mantra, and Byakuya couldn't help but wonder why.

"Rukia," his voice sounded strange to his hears, and he could feel his remaining strength fading. He needed to tell her everything now, or he might never have the chance again.

Everything came back to him so easily, his years with Hisana and the happiness he had thought might be eternal but lasted so little, finding her and then admitting Rukia into his life in spite of everything, keeping her as a constant reminder of what he didn't have anymore. He didn't say that much, but he could see in her eyes that she understood.

But that was then. Byakuya realized when she held his hand gently, still crying softly, that Hisana was only a fading memory now. It was not a promise what made him want to protect her now.

When he opened his eyes again he was in his bed, his wounds still fresh but not painful anymore. At least not the physical ones.

Rukia was still there, sitting next to the bed with his hand still on hers and fast asleep.

No, she was nothing like her sister anymore.

…

**Changing**

"You don't need to protect me anymore, Nii-sama."

Rukia was glaring hotly at Byakuya; it was the first time he had ever seen that kind of expression directed to him and it bothered him.

"It's not your protection what concerns me, Rukia," he said calmly, walking in front of her back to the Kuchiki household. He had been against it since the beginning, Rukia going off to earth with Kurosaki and Abarai. It wasn't the danger of the fight what worried him, "but we have orders and we will follow them."

"Why?" she cried, stopping, "They've taken Orihime, she would have never gone willingly. We have to get her back!"

Byakuya stopped; Rukia was usually calm and composed around him, if only due to respect. This must be really important to her. Renji was walking a few steps behind them, his face showing all the feelings he wasn't voicing. At least someone had learnt some restrain.

"We'll discuss this when we arrive home," he turned to look at Renji, "Abarai, go to your quarters and report to me in two hours."

Renji nodded and disappeared, and Byakuya continued walking without looking back, knowing Rukia was behind him.

"Nii-sama," she began the very second the door closed behind her, "I know you think you need to keep me safe because you promised Hisana-sama, but nothing will happen to me--"

"Rukia," he interrupted her, "I had orders."

She scowled, "You always have orders, Nii-sama," she said, her voice bitter, obviously remembering his past mistakes.

"Rukia, my orders were--" he tried to explain it to her, but it was clear Rukia was too worried for her friend and too upset to listen.

"No, nii-sama. I didn't care when your orders were to kill me, I wouldn't have minded if you did it yourself, but I thought you changed, I thought you cared!"

"Rukia--" he tried again, fearing he might lose his patience and do something he would regret.

"She needs us! Ichigo needs us! He's going to go after her, on his own if necessary! I have to go, I have to help him!"

In an instant Byakuya had grabbed Rukia by the shoulders, his face dangerously close to hers. "Calm yourself, Rukia," he said coldly, he could see her eyes shinning with unshed tears and an unstoppable fire, "listen to me. My orders where to bring you here. I did. I have no other orders."

He could see the exact moment she realized what his words meant, her eyes widening impossibly and her lips curving on a small smile.

"Abarai-kun will be here shortly, you need to get ready," he said.

And then Rukia beamed, and in a movement that took him completely by surprise she threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his.

"Thanks nii-sama," she ran to her room, apparently unaware of what she had done.

Byakuya stayed there, frozen. Of all the things she could have done--he touched his lips and then stared at the empty space where she had been.

"Be careful," he said to the empty room, "come back."

…

**Not broken**

Rukia had been staring into nothingness since she was brought back from Hueco Mundo. Byakuya was beginning to worry.

It wasn't her injuries, those were minor since the healing girl had taken care of her there; just thinking how close to death she had been made Byakuya regret the decision to let her go. But there was nothing he could do about it now.

It was her silence what concerned him the most.

Rukia wouldn't speak, not to him and not even to Kurosaki or Abarai. She was just there, staring into nothingness all the time. She had never reminded him of a doll so much as she did now.

Byakuya sat next to her bed to keep her company when his obligations let him, hoping to see some kind of change, to see her breaking out of whatever darkness was surrounding her. So far, there had been no hints of recovery in a week.

It was a faint sob what woke him up.

Rukia had her face on her hands, trying to choke back her sobs while the tears slide down her wrists. Byakuya felt his heart stopping at the sight.

"I had to kill him again," she whispered, "it wasn't him, but it was him, what was left of him. And I killed him again. Just like I did that time."

For the first time, Byakuya didn't know what to say. He was not equipped to give comfort, not the kind of comfort Rukia needed.

"I had to, I had to."

It was the pain he could hear in the voice what made him move. Byakuya stood up and gathered her in his arms. Rukia went stiff with shock, not expecting him to be awake at all, and then she clung on to him and cried, hot tears of shame and rage and impotence wetting his robe.

Byakuya just held her in silence, letting her grief run its course until she fell asleep, exhausted.

Gently, he laid her back on the bed and observed her for a while. Rukia looked so frail in the moonlight, so young. Unable to resist the impulse, he leaned over her and deposited a soft kiss on her lips.

He wasn't expecting to find her staring at him when he pulled back, or to see that small smile on her lips and that blush on her face.

"Don't go, nii-sama," she said her voice barely audible, "stay with me."

He did. There was nothing he could deny her anymore.

**Family**

It was the time.

Byakuya had known since the day he fought Kurosaki Ichigo that this moment would come, and now that it was finally time, he didn't feel anything. He had expected to be ashamed, but his heart was at ease.

"I'm sorry," he said to the silent grave of his parents, "but I can't keep my promise to you."

He felt lighter than ever on his way back to the Kuchiki household, feeling finally free of the burden he had imposed himself so many years ago.

Rukia was already there, waiting for him. "Nii-sama," she smiled as he walked straight to her, wondering again how it was possible that she had been all that time beside him and he never realized just how beautiful she was.

Byakuya took her hand, and leaning a bit deposited a soft kiss on her lips, "You can't call me that anymore, Rukia," he said gently and she pouted.

"But I have been calling you nii-sama for so long--"

He stopped her, "I won't be your brother from now on, Rukia," he said seriously.

"I know," she blushed, "Byakuya-sama."

Byakuya squeezed her hand and smiled at her. "We shouldn't keep the guests waiting."

…


End file.
